We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
