I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
