if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
there is glitter all over my balls
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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