I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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