Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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