That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
