Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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