even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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