Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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