ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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