honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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