Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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