Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
wanna go halves on a baby?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
