tonight lets celebrate not being married
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
