similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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