I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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