Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
