I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
