now i know why i became what i already was.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
