i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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