i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
