he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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