we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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