It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
