I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
