I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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