we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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