Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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