Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize