I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....