apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy