Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?