Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?