New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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