Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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