Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
