He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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