Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?