Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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  (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q
  Replies (24) Good night (11588) Bad night (1805)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

  (917): View more from New York City

  get a pic

  (718): View more from New York

  i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

  (917): View more from New York City

  i want ur life

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  (718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite (917): get a pic (718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that (917): i want ur life http://tfl.nu/sg3n
  Replies (25) Good night (2668) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  All of them

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  (812): McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want? (1-812): All of them http://tfl.nu/mhdi
  Replies (42) Good night (10056) Bad night (928)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4489) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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  (602): hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad http://tfl.nu/sh9o
  Replies (45) Good night (1017) Bad night (9716)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5729) Bad night (797)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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  (814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51
  Replies (5) Good night (2264) Bad night (867)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.

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  (403): I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life. http://tfl.nu/sa3f
  Replies (4) Good night (2696) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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  (416): I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting. http://tfl.nu/0atv
  Replies (10) Good night (620) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god

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  (781): Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god http://tfl.nu/k2hb
  Replies (7) Good night (1667) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...

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  (319): This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left... http://tfl.nu/s9na
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.

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  (919): The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling. http://tfl.nu/ws33
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.

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  (734): So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know. http://tfl.nu/dxb2
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.

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  (812): I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this. http://tfl.nu/4qck
  Replies (0) Good night (283) Bad night (203)

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