Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Def the best call fo sho

  (361): View more from Texas

  That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it. (1-361): Def the best call fo sho (361): That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers. http://tfl.nu/l307
  Replies (39) Good night (4665) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive. http://tfl.nu/9k83
  Replies (22) Good night (840) Bad night (5353)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke. http://tfl.nu/qijj
  Replies (37) Good night (1306) Bad night (3291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4139) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone http://tfl.nu/50pu
  Replies (13) Good night (884) Bad night (3896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu. http://tfl.nu/wnz4
  Replies (4) Good night (3897) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1755) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (1897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication. http://tfl.nu/cb9g
  Replies (9) Good night (1889) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf http://tfl.nu/kuum
  Replies (6) Good night (1366) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all. http://tfl.nu/of60
  Replies (4) Good night (1059) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything. http://tfl.nu/5k96
  Replies (16) Good night (1350) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks. http://tfl.nu/96bx
  Replies (3) Good night (208) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check the mailbox while you're out!

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Check the mailbox while you're out! (1-306): I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree. http://tfl.nu/rtqa
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

Randomize