Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

(239): View more from Florida

He could rock you to sleep

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(604): View more from British Columbia

found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

wtf you measured my hair?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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(410): View more from Maryland

there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

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(847): View more from Illinois

well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car

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