The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear