My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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