jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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