I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
