his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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