they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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