Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize