Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
