yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
