If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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