making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
