Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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