I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
