Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
