The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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