do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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