Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
