Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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