shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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