Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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