he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
