Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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