you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Your cock deserves a montage
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
